MH lighting generally won't "shock" your livestock when it comes on because it takes a good 10 minutes for them to warm up. When they come on, they glow faintly and gradually go up to full power. Many people actually have their MH come on first and the VHO later, because the fluorescent tubes coming on instantaneously are more shocking to your livestock than the MH.
As far as not needing VHO supplementation, I'd consider the 10000Ks over the 20000Ks. The 10000Ks have a really pleasing color. If I had the foresight to use 400W MH over my tank instead of the 175s, I wouldn't even have any VHO supplementation because IMO 10000K is a really nice color by itself. Since I need more light and have to use the VHOs for extra intensity, however, I went with the 50/50s because the actinic VHOs were too blue in conjunction with the 10000K MHs.
As far as having them come on and off, you could have the middle come on first and the ends come on 30 minutes later or something like that. Also, have them shut down in stages at night so that all of them are on for the same length of time. That way, your fish aren't left in the dark instantly and as the lights go out one by one, they'll learn that it's time to seek out their sleeping quarters for the night.
HTH