herman

Moderator
Location
Weehawken, NJ
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders and sits down,
and the monkey starts jumping all around the bar. The monkey grabs some olives and eats them,
then grabs some limes and eats them too. Then he snatches some peanuts and eats those.
Then he jumps on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth, and swallows it whole.
The bartender yells at the guy, ?Hey buddy...Did you see what your monkey just did??
The guy says, ?no, what.? ?He just ate the cue ball off my pool table and swallowed it whole!?
?Boy that doesn?t surprise me,? says the guy. ?He eats everything in sight, the little idiot. Sorry,
I?ll pay for everything the monkey ate,? and leaves.
A couple weeks later, the same guy comes back again with his monkey. He orders and the monkey
starts running the bar again, looking for something to eat. Finally the monkey finds a maraschino
cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out and eats it.
The bartender looks disgusted, and says, ?Did you see what your monkey did now?? ?No, what?? says the guy.
?Well he just stuck a maraschino up his butt, pulled it out, and ate it,? the bartender says.
?Yeah that doesn't surprise me,? replies the guy. ?He still eats whatever he finds, but since he swallowed that cue ball, he measures everything first.?
 

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