Paul B

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This last 6 days we babysat out 2 Grand Kids while our Daughter and husband went to a wedding in Mallorca Spain. Yeah, not to bad. We stayed at their CoOp in Manhattan for the first 3 days. They live on the 16th floor and out one side you see the Empire State Bldg and uptown and out the other side you see the new Trade Center and NY Harbor. On their deck you see the East River and the Hudson River. As soon as they left the place and hit the elevator, the little guy, Teddy puked. Then he puked again. OK, we figure it's just a fluke. So the next day we take him to "school". I have to come home to Long Island to feed the fish, water the plants and get some medications for my wife and as soon as I get in my house, the "school" calls. (Teddy is 1 1/2) Pick him up right away, he is puking all over the "class". I jump on the Long Island Rail Road and get him. I bring him back to his apartment. So we take Teddy to the doctor. Of course you have to take a Taxi because you can't get anywhere in Manhattan unless you take a taxi or subway. The doctor is 6 blocks away and the cab costs 8 bucks to get there. I would walk but my wife has MS and has trouble walking. We get to the doctor and go in. I thought it was a wine cellar as I have never seen a smaller office in my life. If my reef tank was in there I would have to stand it up on it's end and only keep shrimpfish because they swim vertically. So we squeeze past the front "desk" and the girl (who was skinny just because she had to be to work there) told us to go down that stair case. I thought it was a laundry chute. We go down this winding staircase which was made out of exposed brick from what looked like the Civil War and we get to the bottom where the "examination" rooms are. You know those wooden things the doctor puts in your mouth and says open wide? They only had room for 2 of them. I could see why this was a pediatric office because an adult patient couldn't fit laying down and a chubby person couldn't get down the stairs. The only toys they had for the kids were pick up sticks and a Barbie Doll that they had to store standing up.
So the Doctor comes in. She is kind of a Supermodel and of course, skinny. She examines Teddy and says he has a 24 hour stomach virus and everyone is getting it. Just go home and don't worry about it. So we make our way up the winding staircase after yelling first so that no one is coming down at the same time and we take a Cab back to his apartment. 8 bucks. I take him upstairs (Their condo is 3 floors) and as soon as I get to his bedroom, I hear Greta, his 2 1/2 year old sister screaming. I give Teddy to my wife and run downstairs to find Greta covered in puke. She says "I Puked". So I get some paper towels and clean up Greta's Puke. Just then, my wife calls for me to hurry upstairs. I put Greta down and run upstairs to find Teddy covered in puke. I get more paper towels and clean up Teddy's puke. Greta starts yelling again so I run downstairs and clean up more of Greta's puke. On my way to the bathroom to get some soap I pass my Son n Laws computer table just in time to see their cat puke right in the middle of his desk. I clean up Greta then go back to the cat puke. I am not a cat lover and certainly not a fan of cat puke but I have to clean it up so the kids don't sit in it. Now all is calm for a while. We go to bed. Teddy usually wakes up at about 4:30am for his bottle. He wakes up and I run down to get him his bottle, I pick him up and, Yep, he pukes all over the floor, mostly on the carpet. I carry him downstairs to clean him and I hear my wife, 3 floors up yelling. I clean him as best I can, put him in his crib, still screaming and run upstairs to find my wife puking in the bathroom. She was puking in a bucket she found there in the dark which I found out later was a diaper bucket filled with diapers which of course now i have to clean. Now my wife is sick and can't get out of bed. I get her a clean bucket to puke in and go down to feed and change Teddy.
The next day their other Grand Parents come over to visit. Greta's other Grand Mother picks her up and Greta covers her in puke from her neck to her shoes. They just stopped over on their way to the airport because they are going to France. It seems like everyone around me is going to Europe and I am just going to doctors or covered in people or cat puke. After 3 days we come to Long Island to our house where it was much calmer. The first night we rent a movie on our FIOS system. I almost never rent movies but with the kids we did. So we try to rent Sponge Bob square pants movie and we look at the trailer. So after the trailer I try to rent the movie, but the trailer plays again. I try again and see the same trailer. As a matter of fact, to get the trailer to stop playing I have to turn off the TV and walk around the house a while. So we forget about Spongebob. I come back and again turn on the TV. Greta sees the Penguin movie and wants me to rent it. I hit "rent now" and the movie starts. After the opening credits, it just turns into static. I fast forward to see if I can get the thing to play correctly. I make it go back, then forward then back and the movie won't play. I turn on the computer this morning and I get an E Mail from FIOS thanking me for renting Penquins and adding a bill for $3.95. The next day we took them to a fair for memorial day, a couple of playgrounds, we saw the puppies and all is well. I took Greta to the duck pond where we walked around the pond. Greta pointed out every ant, bird and goose poop on the way. Their parents came home last night to pick them up and it is now so quite in my house. I am enjoying the no poopies, no kid puke, no cat puke, no wine cellar doctors offices, no Taxi cabs, no subways, no sirens, just peace. But I do miss my kids :p

 
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BioMan

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Brewster, NY
Rating - 100%
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HAHAHAA!!! My mother-in-law has nicknamed my son "terremoto" .. thats Italian for "earthquake",,,he's also 18 months and my daughter is 3 months,,,ya'll mightve raised us well but you've been out of the game too long to jump into our routines....enjoy, being a grandparent,
 

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