Paul B

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This week we went to Disney World with our two Grand Kids, Daughter and Son N Law.


They actually took us. We haven't gone to Disney in about 30 years when we took our Daughter a few times. A lot is changed as now they added more princesses, Buzz Lightyear, some Johnny Depp stuff in Pirates of the Caribbean and fingerprint machines.


So we get to the magic Kingdom and see Mickey, Minnie, the Duck, Princess this and that and had a great, but tiring day. That night we had reservations to have dinner with Minnie at Hollywood Studios so we head to the Monorail. My wife has MS and is riding in a scooter.


We get to the monorail and the thing isn't running so the guy says to take the boat. We get on this boat for the 20 minute ride then get on this line to get into Hollywood Studios. As you know, everything in Disney is fake except the lines. Now you have to go through security and get fingerprinted. I am not sure what the fingerprinting does or why they really need the fingerprints from three year old Teddy unless they feel he is a threat to Pluto or maybe will pull Minnie's tail. But we finally get to the front and find out we can't get in. It seems you can only go to one theme park on the same day unless you pay more. A lot more. The guard tells us to go to customer service to see what we can do.


After waiting on the line at customer service we are told we need to pay about $500.00 more plus the $300+ that we already paid for the dinner with Minnie. (that was for all 6 of us) We didn?t think it was prudent to pay $800.00+ to eat frankfurters with a Rat so we told them to forget it. Now we ?only? have to pay $60.00 for not showing up. Like, is it me!


So we ask some guy sweeping the floor where we can eat because these kids, besides being disappointed at not seeing the mouse, are hungry. He tells us to go to France. He says, there is a lot of food in France. I am thinking the France in Europe but he means the France in Disney.


I worked with a guy who thought he was all over the world because he went to Disney every year, and even bought a brick on the sidewalk with his name on it. It?s not like he doesn?t have a life or anything.


So we get back on the boat to France for another 20 minute ride. In ?France? we head to the first restaurant where we are told, ?You can?t even scrape chewing gum off the sidewalk to eat without a reservation?. She also said, there is absolutely no place in France where we can eat. I don?t know how many people live in the ?real? France, but I think most of them were there in Disney last night.


So we ask how to get back to the Hotel. We are on the other side of Disney so it is a very long walk. On the way we stop at popcorn stands, hot dog stands, French Fry stands, all with the same outcome. We couldn?t get a bite to eat as the lines were so long that the park would close before you got anything. So we are working our way back when my wife?s electric scooter croaks. It would go ten feet and stop, then go ten feet and stop. I started pushing the thing, which is not very easy. There is a big phone number on the front that I call figuring they would send a tow truck or something. Of course no one answers the phone; after all I am in France.


We finally are getting near the monorail and I see one coming so we start to run. We run and run, up the ramp, right up to the gate and the monorail pulls in and we wait. We wait some more, then we are waiting. Then nothing. The doors don?t open. The announcement comes on: THIS MONORAIL NEEDS TO GO INTO THE SHOP FOR REPAIRS. Of course it does, why wouldn?t it! So after about 30 minutes and two sleeping kids another one pulls up and we get on.


We eventually make it back to our hotel about 9:00PM where the only thing open is the ice cream parlor. We go up to the counter and are told: We are closing in 10 minutes. Great, just enough time to get an ice cream to take out.
We stayed for four days and when we checked out the guy at the hotel desk handed me the bill. We pre paid the hotel, Disney passes and transportation so I wasn't expecting to pay to much at check out. The bill was for about $2,000.00. After I got up from the floor I asked what the $2,000.00 was for and he told me, "For drinks". I said, if I drank two thousand dollars worth of alcohol in four days while staying with a 3 and 4 year old I wouldn't be standing here arguing with you now. As a matter of fact, I wouldn't be standing. I would also probably be in jail as a lousy Grand Father. The drinks were good, but they weren't that good. I said I had maybe seven drinks and my wife had maybe five. Then he realized he added an extra zero to the bill. A zero doesn't come to much unless it is for drinks.


The rest of the trip went well and I hope I am now finished with Disney. But the Kids had a ball.


 

Paul B

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I think Disney does it all wrong and I have a plan to eliminate all the lines and problems. When you get to Disney, you first go to the monorail then go to the theme park you want to wait in line for. Then you go to Pirates of the Caribbean, Peter Pans ride, It's a Small World then wait to get an autograph from all the princesses etc.

I have a better Idea. Instead of all that, the monorail should be the attraction. In my world you would board the monorail, then the fun starts, Peter Pan would jump on the thing while Tinkerbell flew around you and spilled pixie dust all over the place, then the Pirates of the Caribbean would shoot some cannonballs through the windows, barely missing most of the people while Snow White, Belle, Rapunsel and Minnie Mouse run around screaming trying to wake up Sleeping Beauty who is being carried by Pluto.
Next the thing becomes 20,000 leagues under the sea and submerges in the lake that surrounds Cinderella's Castle. It doesn't remain underwater very long because of the holes in the windows that the cannonballs put in, but just long enough for Aerial the Mermaid to swim inside and sell you one of those plastic things that blow bubbles for $29,95 and another $7.50 for bubble soap. Then the monorail would surface and crash through the Capital where you could see the Presidents scrambling to get out of the way as a thousand dolls from all over the world sing that annoying song "It's a Small Small World". The fun is not over yet, just when you thought it was over, the monorail runs down the center of Main Street knocking over all the tourists trying to take a picture in front of the Castle. It then slows down so you can buy a cappuccino or Mickey Mouse ears. Now you are on your way to Epcot where it burst into flames just before it careens into the log flume ride and put out the fire before the paint burns off. After it climbs the Tree of Life it slows down and deposits you at the gate where you can call an Uber and go home.
No lines, no waiting for anything and you see everything in 3 minutes so you can go back to your hotel so you can sit in the Hot Tub and order a Pina Colada.
 
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great to hear the grandkids had fun! we just got back from orlando. didn't hit the theme parks this time around. just relaxed but a few days were unseasonably cold last week. downtown disney has been renamed as disney springs - lots more stores and many new roads. felt like driving in circles. driving 10-15 minutes to go a mile...tho people are still friendly as usual.
 

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