Today my wife went to the drug store and as she went down the porch stairs I saw that a few of the bricks on the top step were loose. Great, now I need to fix that so my wife of the mail "Lady" don't break their neck.
I put those bricks on there about 20 years ago and I didn't do a real great job. Of course there is a reason. I probably put this on here 80 pages ago but I will put it on again.
At that time I wanted my fieldstone and brick porch fixed and I was working around the clock in Manhattan so my wife said to hire someone. I never hire anyone because I always end up doing it myself anyway. WE have an argument and she won. So I get this guy who did my friends porch and did a good job. He comes to my house with a shovel that has a hole in it, a stick with a piece of string tied to it for a ruler and a sledge hammer that he has duct taped in the middle of the handle.
I also want him to make a new sidewalk in front of my house where a large oak tree broke up the walk.
He demolishes the sidewalk and stone porch. I built him a large wooden box that I wanted him to put in the porch and pour 6" of cement around and on top of it because I wanted the porch hollow unlike 100% of all porches that are filled with dirt. In the freezing winter, those porches expand and the stones bulge out and break. My way, the thing will last 1,000 years like the pyramids.
I come home from work and he has the box in there but he filled it with dirt. I tried to explain my pyramid method to him but it was lost in the translation. I told him I don't care how they do it in South America, here, you do it my way. So "we" removed the dirt from the box and turned it over.
The next day the cement truck is there when I come home and he poured cement over the box as I described. The cement truck driver said to this genius that he has cement left over and what should he do with it? The contractor told him to dump it in the "storm drain in the street". The driver who was not an Idiot just smirked and drove away. Like I need a half a truck of cement in my storm drain.
The next day he is installing the sidewalk and I told him to put a stress groove in front of the tree because that is where it is going to crack and the stress groves are there so you can direct the crack where you want it and not in the middle of the slab.
Of course he put a groove everyplace I told him not to so to this day I have cracks all over my sidewalk.
Again I come home to fine his guy building my stairs in my stone porch with cinder blocks. The holes facing up. The stone porch was built out of fieldstone with brick edging and the steps were supposed to be brick. The guy told me, "This is how we do it in Guatemala". I said, "look around, does this look like Guatemala?."
I come home the next day and he is installing bricks for the stairs. There are three steps. The top one is about 4", the second one is about 10" and the bottom one is about 14". I said is this also how they do it in Guatemala?
TAKE THEM OUT AND PUT THEM IN ALL THE SAME SIZE. or is that asking too much.
I come home the next day and he is finished. I try to go in my house, but I can't open the door because he built the porch higher than my door. It is also sloping into my house so if it rained, all the water would flow into my living room.
He tells me to cut the door. I tell him, I am going to cut his throat. Then he tells me he will "grind" down the concrete so I can open the door.
I said, "You have a shovel with a hole in it, a stick with string on it, and a hammer with fifteen dollars worth of tape holding it together and you are going to grind down the concrete two inches all the while I am standing out in the street because I can't get into my house. Is that what you are going to do?
He says, "I don't think you want to pay me" I said PAY YOU, I am going to kill you if you don't get off my property.
Now I have to find a neighborhood kid to help me smash up the new porch so I can get in my house, then I had to re-build it as fast as I could because I had to go to work.
That is one reason I never hire anyone for anything.
Just now I cemented in those loose bricks and if I get the time I will remove all the edging bricks and re-install them like they do it here in the US.
