Paul B

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Did I post this story about going to the mall. I am sure I did so If I did, don't read it as it is boreing.


A while ago I was in a store, a women's store because my wife was not feeling well and I had to return something. It was also in a Mall, and I don't do Malls. I get that mall look as soon as I walk in so I try to run out as fast as I can. Anyway there were about 3 women on line so I assumed it wouldn't take long. Wrong. I mean 3 ladies, how long could it take?


So the first one goes up to the checkout girl and they start talking about kids, cellulite, the sizes on European clothes etc. That takes 10 minutes and she leaves. The next Lady knows the sales girl so they exchange E Mail addresses, look at each other's kid pictures, converse on when they went to grade school etc. After 10 or 15 minutes, she is finished and leaves. The next lady, after waiting in line for 20 minutes decides she wants a different color "thing" whatever she bought so we all wait while they go and look for this non existent item. They couldn't find it so they look in the store room, then call all the other stores in the area. I am standing there getting a heart attack and a nervous breakdown, probably also growing ingrown toenails. Finally, after seemingly a weekend, she leaves with out buying anything so it is my turn. I just want to return this thing. She wants to know what is wrong with it. How do I know? I don't even know what it is, just take it back, I don't even need my money back, just get me out of here. She gives me a nasty look, probably because I didn't want to see a picture of her kid, or dog.


I get to leave and go have a drink. How do you women shop? Like, don't you have other things to do than wait in line all day?


There should be a Man store strictly for Men. And only real Men should be allowed to go. I mean, maybe they need to give you a Man card or tattoo a bar code on your arm, next to a battle ship or cro bar. In a Man store there would only be Supermodels working there, but they don't have to do anything but point. I would walk in and say something like "Where do you keep your chain saws", and she would point to the place.


The price would be clearly marked on the thing in wide magic marker including the tax and anything else they want to charge me. But the price should be rounded off to the nearest dollar. No change because change is for Sissies and Girly men, (who shouldn't be allowed in the store anyway) Then the Supermodel would point to the door where there is a bucket. You throw approximately the amount of your purchase into the bucket and leave to go use your chain saw. Sometimes you would throw in a little more, sometimes a little less, but at the end of the year, it will all work out. You wouldn't need silly accountants to figure out every penny and no need to carry change to the bank.


OK back to fish
 

Paul B

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This "guy" is turning into a guy. "he" was a female but now is a male. You can't tell too much by this picture because he was "making a funny face". But his upper lip is longer than his bottom lip and that is a sign of Maleness. In fish I guess, not in ma, who by the way was always a male.


You seem to be correct Andy.


 

Paul B

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We are having people on the boat so at breakfast at the diner my wife said, "I need to go to the market to get a nice crusty Italian bread". I said OK, lets stop there for the bread.
She gets out of the car and said, " I Just need to run in for bread". OK I stayed in the car.
Half an hour later she comes out with enough groceries to make my car lean to one side.
I said "what kind of bread did you get"?
She said: "Bread!" I Forgot the bread.
Like how do you Ladies shop?
If I am going to a store for bread. I am like those horses that have those blinders on their eyes so they can't see to the side. I run in the store to the bread isle, pick up the first loaf of bread, run to the closest cashier that has the shortest line, throw more money on the counter than the bread cost, say, Keep the change and run out. Total 1 minute and 45 seconds.
If they are giving away free trips to Hawaii with a case of blueberries and shrimp, I won't know about it. Of course if there is a Supermodel giving it away, I may stop to look. So then it would take me 2 full minutes to get out of the store.
As I exit the store I will have my car keys in my hand in the exact position I need it to be in to put the key in the ignition and I will start bending my foot to hit the gas. No lost movements.
 

Paul B

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It seems I can't keep these small Queen Anthias as the 4 of them are gone. The slightly larger ones with the bright yellow stripe and the one with the muted yellow stripe are doing very well and have been in there for a month to 3 or 4 months so far. I think they will live their normal lifespan.


These small purple ones didn't live to long. They either jump out or just disappear, I guess from not having enough of the right food even though I fed them new born shrimp a couple of times a day. Some fish "I" just can't keep long but many people can keep them. Luckily, they never die from disease. I also can't keep banded pipefish very long. But copperbands I have no problems with as they are large eaters and seem to be able to store food. I got this one as a baby and now she is the size of a hub cap.






Not in my fully stocked reef anyway. You really need a species tank for them and some fish and you need to have a constant supply of tiny, preferably living food. I do like those kinds of tanks but I only have my one 100 gallon reef tank (which I think is really a 90 but was sold as a 100)
If you have no life, I mean if you can spend all day tinkering with your tank, you can easily keep any kind of fish, but if you are active and are out all the time, forgetaboutit.




We were out late last night with other people for dinner as we do a lot and when I got home, the lights were off in my tank, so they didn't eat. They will be mad at me this morning but I will be going out before the lights come on, so they won't have breakfast either.
But I will be home to give them lunch so they will still be talking to me.
WE also stay out in the boat late and those days the fish don't eat, unless I collect something for them for desert.

Not eating for a one, two, three days or more won't hurt most fish. But for planktivores, they just don't have the storage capacity to cope with thea and they starve. It's a fact of fish life.
I try to be here all the time, but I can't.
When I travel, I am sure I will lose some of those types of fish as I can't ask my Supermodel tank sitter to do what I do which is hatch brine shrimp every day, strain them and put them in a feeder twice a day, collect mud from my white worm culture and separate out the white worms, suck up blackworms and baster them to both sides of the tank so all the fish get a chance to eat them before the copperband and blue wrasse gets it all.
Supermodels have other things to do such as do things that Supermodels need to do to continue to look like a Supermodel.

I only ask her to put a pre made frozen food package, that I make, into the defrosting cup and dispenser I have hanging on the tank, and I only ask her to do that every other day. There is some frozen baby brine and cyclopese in there which those fish eat, but it's not enough and I normally target feed some fish like the Janss Pipefish which live in a cave with a possum wrasse.
I am sure those fish will find some food but with about 25 fast feeders they won't get enough. I also have a small perchlet that I target feed.






These are the guys that seem very hardy.




I didn't do to well with this guy either. I have only a few SPS corals or the types of corals he eats and with all the other special feeders I have I couldn't spend the time that this beautiful fish needs to keep him long term. A few months is not long term so I will say I sucked at keeping him.

 
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Paul B

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I see a "problem" coming soon to my tank. The 3- 1" tubes that feed my reverse UG filter have been growing those worm tubes for decades and there is no simple way to remove the growth. My vertical algae scrubber uses gravity to feed the manifold where the tubes emerge from the bottom and feed the UG filter. The manifold normally only has 1/4" of water in it as the water goes down the 3 tubes as soon as it goes into the manifold. But for the last few days, that manifold has been filling with a few inches of water. I never built an overflow on to it because the water always instantly drained down the tubes. If the manifold overflows the way it is now designed, the water will be pumped on to the floor which my wife frowns on. The fish also frown on that as the tank would completely empty.
Now I have a few things I need to do very soon.
The first thing I will do is drill a hole a few inches up in the manifold in case it fills, the water will just flow back into the tank.
The next thing I will do is make a tiny "Rotor Rooter" snake to twist down through the tight bend the tubes make near the gravel. I will try to grind up the growth in small enough pieces that they get deposited under the UG filter plates.
I can't remove those tubes without breaking many year old coral growth to get to the back of my tank so I will try not to go that route.


I can't remember when I removed those tubes for cleaning but it may have been 20 years ago before I had a lot of things growing back there. There was a time when I could remove the corals and rocks, but now it is mostly montipora which are very delicate and I would rather not break.


The thing gets fed from the big white pipe that is the bottom of the algae scrubber.
It's things like this that keep me interested in this hobby.


 

Paul B

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I couple of weeks ago my wife and I are invited to go out on my friends boat with him and his wife. Great, let someone else use some gas for once.
He has the same size boat as I have but some people really shouldn't be allowed to own a boat.
We get on the boat and his wife tells me that everything is wrong with the boat even though it is very new. They only use it once or twice a year and they bought it new for like $130,000.00.
So it costs them like $10,000.00 every time they use it so far.


We are supposed to go to Connecticut which is about an hour ride. I figure "everything: is wrong with the boat so I will ask a simple question. (It's the Boat Captain in me)
I asked if he has flares.
He says "Of course I have flares"
I ask if they are expired?
His wife tells me, "they don't know because they are in that cabinet, and they can't open it".
OK, great. I force open the cabinet and ask for some WD-40 so they can open it easily.


He tells me the mechanic is fixing "something electronic" on the boat.
I ask, "What is he fixing?"
He doesn't know. That makes me feel great now that we are taking this thing for an hour ride to another state, Thoughts of "Gilligans Island" flash through my head.


I say, what do you mean "You don't know what he is fixing?"
"I don't know but he fixed it temporarily". Temporarily with what! Like a paperclip!


OK so we head out. I say, put on some music!
"The radio doesn't work" Of course not!
I say I think we are in for a storm so we should not go to Connecticut (or anywhere else further than the lines tied to the dock)


So his wife convinces him to stay in the harbor.


The storm I predicted hits us with a fury. I yell, "Drop the Anchor".


(In a storm, the first thing you are supposed to do is drop the anchor so you don't crash into the other boats moored there.)


So I see him climb out to the front of the boat and start to kick the anchor.
I ask, "What are you doing? " Don't you just push the button near the steering wheel to drop the anchor?


Of course, but first I have to "kick it".
Why, are you mad at it?


He asks, "Don't you have to kick your anchor?"
No, I don't. Why would I? I said "Does the Captain of the aircraft carrier Enterprise have to kick the anchor?"


He said, it doesn't go down unless you kick it. I ask if he ever read the manual. He told me that the boat came with too many manuals and he doesn't like to read manuals.
I said "It Shows!"


So he kicks the anchor a few times until it falls into the sea. We ride out the storm and get ready to leave for port. Now it is pitch black and about 10:00pm. He is driving with the plastic front window wrapped around his face and trying to see through the inky darkness. We are traversing through many boats and moorings. I said, "Don't you have a floodlight?"
He says "Of Course", I say "Where is it?" He says "In my garage" I said "I hope it's on".


Then I stupidly ask, Why don't you just follow the dotted lines back on the Chart Plotter?


(The chart plotter on a boat puts dots on the screen that follow the boats course, this way, when you want to return, you just follow the dots so you know exactly how to get back.)


He asks "What Dots?"
I look at his chart plotter and the entire screen is white. Since he has the boat he never deleted the dots so they kept adding up until now the screen is pure white as it is "all" dots.
I said Why didn't you delete the previous courses? He says "You can do that?" Like Duh, and I almost went to Connecticut with this Jiboni. (He is one of my closest friends)




Now we are getting near his dock and I see a wooden work boat, then about 35 feet back a nice Yacht and we had to "park" in between them. Our wives are in the cabin probably discussing cellulite or anti perspirants that don't leave stains on silk and all of a sudden, it was like the Titanic. CRASH, we hit the work boat. Our boat runs up on to it and slides back into the water.
I said, "Would you like me to dock this for you?" He said, Would you please.


So tomorrow I am going there to fix his radio, chart plotter, anchor, cabinet and everything else wrong with the thing.
His boat is very similar to mine but a foot longer.


 

Paul B

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We are having people on the boat so we went to the market.
We call that market "Angel Eyes". We gave it that name because a few years ago we were shopping there and I was off looking at asparagus, rudabaker, or Oldsmobile fenders and I see this guy talking to my wife.
I sashay over there and he says to me, Is this beautiful Lady with you? I said yes she is. He says: You are a very lucky man because I can tell that she has "Angel eyes, and the eyes are the windows to your soul". :flirt:
AS I was about to puke he goes on to say that he used to be a male model but now he "porked" up to have a 32" waist.

Like I never used that male model or angel eye line before.
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Then I picked up my wife from the floor in the place where she had melted and we went off to buy tomatoes.
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You can't make this stuff up. :)
 
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Paul B

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I had a blue wrasse that grew too large so I wanted to give him back to the store. I made a small fish hook by heating a small needle and bending it into a hook. I caught him in a few seconds and brought him back.
I wanted a smaller fish so I just told the guy to give me a flasher wrasse. I stupidly didn't look at the wrasse and when I put him in my tank he sunk like a brick. I looked closer and noticed he was covered in Parasites.
Great.
I felt bad for the little guy and since he couldn't swim I was able to catch him and take him out.
I don't keep hospital tanks so I had to empty out my small mangrove tank to put the fish in. I also have a bottle of copper and formalin from the 70s so I put him in there doth a drop of that.
He is in bad shape and I don't expect him to live the night but I was in a hurry and it is totally my fault.


Here is a video of me catching that wrasse with a hook,


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YCc-9qTsR_w&feature=youtu.be
 

Paul B

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That wrasse croaked (as I figured he would) There is a point where no matter what you do, it's too late, kind of like if a fish jumps on the floor and you don't find him for a week or two, it's too late.
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No problem, I kind of have too many fish anyway which Is why I needed to remove that wrasse. My Bangai is still kicking and he is much older than his lifespan dictates he should be but he looks great and it took no time for him to learn how to use a walker.
The rest of my fish are doing very good and now I only need to use half the food because that wrasse ate all the larger pieces of clam which my copperband used to fight him for. Now the copperband is smiling from gill to gill even though it is hard to tell because his mouth is pretty far from his gills.


My Janss pipefish eats anything small enough for him to fit in his mouth as they don't chew and don't have any teeth. I can still chew and almost all my teeth are really mine except a few implants that cost more than my tank (and my car)
That flasher wrasse I put in my reef yesterday was covered in parasites which is a good thing as some of them may have fell off and are happily dog paddling around my tank looking for a meal, but they will be disappointed when they find out my fish are immune from them. (so far anyway).
My bluestripe pipefish are also past their lifespan and still spawning so I know they are healthy. The Janss keeps chasing the male and he is getting annoyed as there is not usually fights in my tank as I interrogate the fish before I add them. The Janss lied.


I really need to change some water but I have this really Manly degenerated disk in my back and it is a little painful for me to lift buckets, but I will devise something or just fill the tank with damp saw dust which is lighter.
 

Paul B

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My male pipefish seems to have almost healed his tail. It was down to stumps as the much larger janss pipefish would chase him whenever he came out to do whatever pipefish do. That pair of bluestripe pipefish learned that they have to stay on the other end of the tank so now I have to feed them there. They are happy again and are doing their spawning dance that resembles the macarana.
 

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