Paul B

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So I had to have a drug test to renew my Coast Guard Captains License. Two weeks ago I made an appointment and went to my Union's medical dept to get it as they have a drug test facility there.
I get the test and make an appointment and hand deliver it to the Coast Guard in Battery Park at the southern tip of Manhattan which is a pain to get to from my house, but I figured if I mailed it, they would say they didn't get it and I would have to do it all over again.

The bubbly 15 year old looking cute girl working there at the Coast Guard tells me the drug test is illegible and they can't read it. OK, I call my union to fax over a better copy. I am on the phone with my union as they faxed it about 8 times but it never came in the the Coast Guard where I am standing.

I ask Goldilox if this is the correct fax number. She assures me that she is positive thats the number. They fax it another 6 times, and nothing comes through so Goldi tells me "you have to leave because they are very busy today". I look around and me and the guy sweeping the floor are the only people there. She gives me a form telling me I have 60 days to fax over the test results.

I look at the fax number on the form and it is one number different from the fax number she was positive was correct.
I call he over and show her, she insists it is the same number. I tell her, well "most" of the numbers are the same but this "4" is a "7" on this form.

"Ooh, I must have made a mistake." No, the Coast Guard made a mistake when they hired you. So I call back my union and they re fax it and to my surprise, it gets there.

Now they look at it and say, it isn't readable. It's blurry.

OK, I go all the way into Queens to my Union and pick up a good copy and fax it to the Coast Guard.

Two days later I get a letter from them saying the drug test is no good for all these reasons, and they give me two sheets of paper almost all highlighted with things wrong. The test results are fine but it's the wrong format, they don't know the doctor, it doesn't have the proper chain of command, they are not a federally designated drug test facility, Ameila Aerheart didn't sign it, Who is Dr Zhivago, etc. etc.

So I make an appointment with a Federally designated drug testing facility and go there this morning. I had an 8:00 am appointment and the place is not in the best neighborhood. There are courts all around and I think they use this place to test the jail inmates before that go to trial as most of them looked like ax murderers, car hijackers, Jay Walkers and those people that remove those tags on new furniture that says "Do not remove under penalty of the Law".

I got there 45 minutes early because I didn't know exactly where it was and I purposely didn't go to the bathroom before I went because this is a urine test and I wanted to make sure I could go there.
Now I am in my car busting a gut because i really have to go. They let me in and I tell the girl to hurry up and give me the cup.

"Oh No we can't do that, you have to be processed in, finger printed, fill out these forms, try speed dating etc. So I say, I really got to go so where's the bathroom. She says "Really" look around. The place is nothing but tiny bathrooms, smaller than my refugium. I run in and try to just go a "little bit". That is hard to do if you ever tried it.

I go to sit down and now I have to go EVEN MORE. I mean I am climbing the walls. The nurse, book keeper, secretary or whatever comes over to me and starts speaking to me in Spanish.
I am Italian but was born in Brooklyn like my parents so the only word I know in Spanish is Ricardo Montalban.
I tell her I only speak English, but she continues in Spanish anyway.

Now I really can't hold it any longer, she hands me the cup and I run and burst into the tiny bathroom anticipating relief. I open the cup and......AND,,,,And...I CAN'T GO. Like REALLY!!
It's not like I can lay down, have a beer and watch TV for an hour, there are people on line. If I could stand on my head, I would. I am trying to think about Niagara Falls, my power heads, my old leaky fish tank, but nothing.

Eventually I manage to fill the cup. Before I come out of this closet my phone rings. I didn't want to answer it because I didn't recognize the number but my house is for sale and I figured it might be someone with a wheelbarrow full of cash outside my house so I answer it.

It's Goldilox from the Coast Guard and she is her bubbly self. She tells me that my drug test that I sent in last week that they said was no good is fine and they are processing my application.
I say "WHAT!!" I just spent fifty bucks on a new drug test and nearly burst a kidney and besides you sent me two pages of things wrong with that test. She says, Oh that. That letter was a mistake. Have a nice day.

I mean, you can't make this stuff up. Is it me? Dealing with the government is like watching Seinfeld and the Twilight Zone at the same time while you are on LSD and Rogain. :eek:
 

Paul B

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Can You Guess How Old This Man Is?

Stay with this -- the answer is at the end.
It may blow you away.

One evening a grandson was talking to his grandfather about current events.

The grandson asked his grandfather what he thought about the shootings at schools, the computer age, and just things in general.

The Grandfather replied, "Well, let me think a minute, I was born before:
'television
'penicillin
'polio shots
'frozen foods
'Xerox
'contact lenses
'Frisbees and
'the pill

There were no:
'credit cards
'laser beams or
'ball-point pens

Man had not invented:
'pantyhose
'air conditioners
'dishwashers
'clothes dryers
'and the clothes were hung out to dry in the fresh air and
'space travel was only in Flash Gordon books.




Your Grandmother and I got married first,.. and then lived together..

Every family had a father and a mother. Until I was 25, I called every woman older than me, "mam". And after I turned 25, I still called policemen and every man with a title, "Sir".

We were before computer-dating, dual careers, daycare centers, and group therapy.

Our lives were governed by the Bible, good judgment, and common sense We were taught to know the difference between right and wrong and to stand up and take responsibility for our actions.

Serving your country was a privilege; living in this country was a bigger privilege.. We thought fast food was eating half a biscuit while running to catch the school bus

Having a meaningful relationship meant getting along with your cousins.

Draft dodgers were those who closed front doors as the evening breeze started.

Time-sharing meant time the family spent together in the evenings and weekends-not purchasing condominiums.




We never heard of FM radios, tape decks, CDs, electric typewriters, yogurt, or guys wearing earrings

We listened to Big Bands, Jack Benny, and the President's speeches on our radios. And I don't ever remember any kid blowing his brains out listening to Tommy Dorsey.

If you saw anything with 'Made in Japan ' on it, it was junk.

The term 'making out' referred to how you did on your school exam....

Pizza Hut, McDonald's, and instant coffee were unheard of.

We had 5 &10-cent stores where you could actually buy things for 5 and 10 cents. Ice-cream cones, phone calls, rides on a streetcar, and a Pepsi were all a nickel And if you didn't want to splurge, you could spend your nickel on enough stamps to mail 1 letter and 2 postcards.

You could buy a new Ford Coupe for $600, ... but who could afford one? Too bad, because gas was 11 cents a gallon.

In my day:
'"grass" was mowed,
'"coke" was a cold drink,
'"pot" was something your mother cooked in and
'"rock music" was your grandmother's lullaby.
'"Aids" were helpers in the Principal's office,
'"chip" meant a piece of wood,
'"hardware" was found in a hardware store and
'"software" wasn't even a word.

And we were the last generation to actually believe that a lady needed a husband to have a baby.
How old do you think I am?

I bet you have this old man in mind...you are in for a shock!

Read on to see -- pretty scary if you think about it and pretty sad at the same time.

Are you ready ??



This man would be 70 years old today.
71 years ago was 1947.

I was born in 1948. :eek:

This is me and my main squeeze standing in front of my Dads 1947 Pontiac

 
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Paul B

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Probably everyone will have two cell phones so they can do nothing twice as fast. :cool:

This reminds me of a story. Everything reminds me of a story. Last year I was invited to this small conference at the east end of Long Island for the study of a problem with pollution they are having with this huge salt pond there. The pond is surrounded by some of the wealthiest people in the world like Spielberg and others.
It is about 50 yards from the sea and every year or so they bring in bulldozers to clear a path to the sea to flush it out.

The problem is the pond gets loaded with algae, then the algae dies and it stinks bringing in flies and other nasty things.
This happens because there are no sewers there and all these people have cesspools that eventually end up in the pond and their many acres of impeccable lawns dump loads of fertilizer in the pond every week so the algae can't help but grow.

So every ten years or so these people get a committee going to "study" the problem. I was there I guess as the fish and invertebrate "expert", but there were real scientists, hydrologists, sewage experts, climatologists and a few other ologists.

WE spoke about the problem, the pH, the nitrogen, the algae, the sludge and all sorts of things causing this. But we all knew what was causing it.
There is even evidence that the native Americans knew about this situation a century ago but I am sure it worked itself out then as no one had cesspools or dinner parties on the pond.

So after a few hours "studying" the problem they decided to put another buoy in the pond to "study" the pollution and observe it.
They have been doing this for decades while the problem gets worse.

I stood up and made a suggestion. I said instead of studying the problem which is the same thing as doing nothing, why don't they use this empty few acres near there that isn't used for anything and build a small waste treatment plant. I mean, these are the richest people in the world, a couple of million bucks shouldn't mean much.
It went over their heads as that would fix the problem, but no one wants that because these scientists get paid to "study" things, not fix them. After it was fixed, what would they do?
 
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Paul B

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My tank looks lousy. I have not had time to do anything with it and yesterday I posted a picture of my algae scrubber and 3 people rang my bell to see if I could sell them any lettuce. :eek:

Much of my montipora broke and fell in the dark because my hermit crab falls on it and he eats to much and weighs like 2lbs. I think he jumps on it on purpose looking for attention. I used to glue it back but I don't have time.
We have open house almost every week to sell this home and I think my fish feel I will leave them here to become sushi. They are all fine but on anti depression medication. My small bleeny had a very severe case of pop eye where his eye was as big as my head but it cured itself. He probably felt he would be sacrificed first.

I finished building my new King Size bed for the new house that looks like a platform bed made out of railroad ties with huge steel wheels under it. (it comes apart in 4 pieces so I can get the thing in the house) Very industrial/steampunk which is what I am going for. I really hate buying things because if I can buy it, so can anyone else and I like different. :rolleyes:
I also built much of the steampunk lighting.

I received redwood and will start building the tank stand soon but we are covered in snow and ice now so i don't want to work in my garage yet. I got redwood because it is strong and the least likely to warp of all the woods.
The legs will be 4X4s. The new tank will be a 125 gallon and I hope to build the base rock out of cement to hold up my existing rocks completely off the bottom. I still need to get more dolomite to add but i am not sure where to get it yet. I am torn between having the tank with an overflow built in for a sump or not. I have lived all my life with no sump but I can't decide.

All my fish that want to come with me are welcome but that annoying hermit crab may have to walk as he is annoying me. I actually have 9 or 10 of them, some as big as golf balls. They may actually be golf balls, I have a lot of junk in there. :confused:

My bluestripe popefish, Janss pipefish, mandarins, perchlet, bleenies, cardinals, copperband, Queen anthiuses, possum wrasse and everything else is still in there smiling. The fireclowns are spawning. . They don't do much of anything else. :cool: Harlequin shrimp seems content as do the porcelain crabs.

If I get this new tank set up I want to get more small, interesting fish, maybe one tang although I find them boring but then I can despell all the rumors that I can't keep the because of all the parasites partying in there. I will probably have to keep them 10 or 15 years to prove the point though. I will ask what is the most ich prone tang to get, but I only like hippo tangs.

To determine the age of anyone who accidently reads this thread. Without googling, how many here remember a Charlett Ruse?
 

Paul B

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Thanks, it is supposed to look like that. Distressing it took most of the time. I beat it up, put long screws on it and hit them with a big hammer, burnt it with a torch, carved off the edges, rolled it around in gravel etc.
The big steel wheels finishes it off and I put 5 of those antique square bolts in the front.

The wall behind it will have real barn wood from a barn with a barn door in the center.
If you can see that vintage phone in the center of my workbench, that is also going on that wall. I may connect my door bell to it, or make it into a phone charging station.

 
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Paul B

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Another open house today so i decided to vacuum a little although my wife vacuums probably 5 times a day. I have a whole house vacuum that I installed decades ago. I vacuum the upstairs where no one lives and we rarely go up there. When I finish, I go to shut off the vacuum,,,,,,And it won't go off. I unplug the hose and it still doesn't go off. Usually when that happens, it's the switch on the hose, but Nope. I go downstairs to the basement and open one of the vacuum hose covers (where you would plug a hose, and the thing stops. Aha, the problem must be in that hose connection so i take it apart. Remember the people are coming here today to see the house.
I can find nothing wrong with the hose connection. I go to the vacuum unit itself and tap on it. It comes on. I tap on it again, and it goes off. So at least I know the problem is the relay inside the unit. It is near my RO/DI unit and behind my worm tank so it is a pain to remove to take apart. (there is a worm tank there now) I can't do it today so I hope no one wants to see it run. It's a job for another day.

My door bell in my kitchen rings when you shut off the light over the sink and it doesn't always ring when you ring the bell. It has been like that for years and it doesn't bother me so I never fixed it. Of course I installed the thing when I moved here in like 1979 and completely forgot where I ran the wires. I take out my meter and test the voltage. There is no voltage at the bell so it should not work at all. But it always rings when you shut off the light. Not when you put on the light which would make more sense.

I disconnect all the wires that I know where they are, test all that I can and I can't find the wire that goes to the actual bell and I don't want to take the house apart because people are coming. I tried a few things, then decided to put everything back the way it was until I have more time. I shut off the light, and the bell doesn't ring. I push the button, and it works. I don't know why it works with no power and I don't care. If it ain't broke, I ani't gonna fix it.
This is embarrassing being I am a Master Electrician :eek:

It's the big red thing thing that says Nutone. I think Nutone also made the bell.

 

Paul B

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I "fixed" the vacuum just now, Kind of. I had to remove my ro/di and all the stuff on the shelf . I also had to empty my resevour bucket and remove it to get to the bolts holding the vacuum to the wall.

I took it apart and noticed the relay was black from the contacts arcing. I took the relay apart and saw that the contacts were burnt so bad there was no contacts left which is why the steel that was left was arcing and sticking. I looked in my storehouse for that relay but it is an isolation relay and a rare relay to find. It has a transformer and relay built into one enclosure. I looked on line but that relay is not manufactured any more, I can put in a regular relay and a transformer but I would have to install it outside the housing and it is a bit of work even though I have the parts. I just filed down what was left of the contacts and feel it will work for 6 or so months. If I get ambitious I will put something together to fix it permanently. I left the wires long enough so that I can remove the old relay without removing the thing from the wall and taking it apart. So for now, it is working perfectly.
 

Paul B

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OK so I fixed the vacuum and put back the blue bucket that is my RO/DI resivour for the tank. WE went out for the day as the bucket filled. But,,,,There is always a But. Now I don't have my blackworm tank there as I took it out for the move so the waste water for the worms just goes into a small bucket and drains through a short tube into the sink which it is sitting next to.
When I put the resivour bucket back up on it's bracket and hook screwed into the ceiling I "forgot to put the shut off float back in". The shut off float shuts off an electric valve stopping the water from filling the bucket.
No problem because there is an over flow hose near the top of the bucket so that if the bucket fills to high, the water will go through the hose into a drain.

That is unless you kink the hose under the bucket where it partially sits on a steel bracket. In that case, the bucket overflows on your workbench filling the drawers and making Lake Erie on the floor.
The other thing it does is to float the empty bucket away from the sink where the waste water goes into so instead of the waste water going into the sink, it also goes on the bench, into the drawers and on the floor.

This is great, especially when in 5 minutes people are coming to see the house and I am bragging as to how dry my finished basement stays.

I quickly unplug the shut off valve to stop water from filling the bucket. I get towel rags and put them all over the floor. drain some water out of the bucket to stop it from dripping and remove the soaked things from the drawer and hide it in the container I use to do water changes with. I have towel after towel of soaking water in my hands as the door bell rings. I run to the washing machine to throw them in, then I have to get more towels to pick up the water I just dripped all over the floor from the soaking wet towels, I run and put them in the washing machine. I hear the people coming in and rush to put dry paper towels into the drawers being careful not to push down on them so they don't soak up water that is still seeping into the wood. I close everything up and hope for the best.

The people tour the house and I don't want to spend too much time with them in my workshop but that is where my solar panel control unit is along with the central vacuum and new boiler. The people are asking questions about all these things and now want to know about my metal sculptures I am working on on my workbench. Now they are asking about the brine shrimp hatchery, the "Blue bucket" hanging from the ceiling.
What are those white worms in the shoe box. Oh , I see you have a microscope, what do you look at? How hard is it to have a salt water tank, do you think Myley Cyrus can sing, how about that global warming thing, whats up with that, etc. etc. etc.

I finally get them out of there and tour the rest of the house.
When they left I dried up the drawers the best I could along with the floor. Most of the stuff in the drawers were in cardboard boxes which are now mulch.

Back to semi normal once again.
 

Paul B

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So a weird thing happened yesterday. I think we sold the house and should go to contract in a day or so. That is not the weird part. A half an hour after we made the deal, about 6:00 PM our door bell rings. It was a very pretty Asian lady in her late 40s. My wife recognized her as one of the people who came to the house a few days ago to an open house. At that time she breezed through the house and sort of rushed out without saying much so I figured she wasn't interested. We already had over 60 people looking at the place and we were holding out for the price we were hoping for.

Anyway, this Lady has a shopping bag with her so Instantly figured she had a bundle of cash with her. But the bag wasn't big enough so I thought I may be wrong. Of course I was. She spoke very little English and the only Asian words I know is Bruce Lee and maybe Sushi. But she was Korean so those words probably don't count and I didn't want to mention the only Korean word I know as that is Kim Jun Ung.

She kept apologizing for bothering us (which she was not) so we invited her in. I offered her wine, plum wine, Scotch, Rum, beer, chocolate milk and tea all of which she declined. She gave us the Mandarin Oranges that she had in the bag (instead of cash) She was extremely nice and kept apologizing for coming here. She was dressed like she was going to a really nice night club but my house doesn't have any neon signs outside so I am sure she didn't make a mistake.

After taking off her coat and sitting on our couch she told us she was an artist and loves the house so much that she can't sleep. (she said that about 5 times. ) She said to my wife, your house has so much love in it and your Husband (Me) smiles so much as he showed me the house and his art work, I can tell he put so much love in the house and she is also an artist, (she said that multiple times)

She was going on about my Japanese garden and my Asian flair I put into the house and how much she loved my art etc. My wife and I were kind of baffled because I asked her a couple of times how much she wanted to bid on the house. Or even if she wanted to make an offer, But she didn't seem to know. She told me that besides being an artist she has some sort of Google like business and if she could speak English better she could make more money and such. Her husband is Japanese but I am not sure what he does as he could be a Sumo Wrestler or Toyota Dealer, I couldn't figure it out. I asked her how she got married to a Japanese mas because she said she doesn't speak Japanese and both of them don't speak much English. Maybe he has a Japanese/Korean translator thing or they know sign language.

She stayed about an hour which didn't bother me because as I said she was very nice and did I say Pretty?
She asked if she could be our friend even if she couldn't buy the house and if she could visit us in our new home so she can paint the ocean. We said OK, thats fine but my wife and I kept looking at each other as we couldn't figure out what this visit was for. She also said she was going to bring us some Korean food I guess we have a new friend.

Then she thanked us a few times and left. It was a very interesting experience but I am in a fog as to what it was about.
 

Paul B

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All still immune here, all is well. I took down my blackworm tank for the move. I think we sold the house and their inspector is coming over today to inspect things. Even he will find my fish immune although all the outlets and "creative" electrical work he may not appreciate or understand.
But I will try to convince him that all of that will be gone when I take everything out of the tank and attempt to move it 60 miles.
This will be a good test of immunity because I am buying a new tank and filling it with NSW from the beach near my home there and will just warm it up before I throw in any fish and coral that survive the move.

They will go from very old water with 160 nitrates to very new water with no nitrates which may upset their stomach a little. I will add some of the old water to keep some of any bacteria and parasites that are in there just for kicks.

The water will come from here. I suppose it will warm up a little before then or my powerheads will make a lot of noise.

 

Paul B

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The inspector came and said, "I never saw a home like this, I can't find one thing to write up, not one." He also said He would move here if he could.
He told the buyers that too which made me happy. The guy also has a fish tank so he understood my thousand outlets.

I will be ordering a new 125 gallon tank soon (Andy) but I am still torn if I want a new fangled sump yet. I am not sure if I want the thing drilled with that overflow in the corner. I know I will be trying to fish my bluestripe pipefish and clown gobies out of there every two days.

I am planning to add a lot more small "interesting fish" (Andy) like I have now rather than boring angels and tangs although I need to add at least one Naso tang for all the people who say it won't live there because of all the parasites. The things we need to do to prove things. I just hope I can catch it to give it away after it gets a foot long.

I bought the redwood to build the stand out of but we still have snow on the ground here and my radial saw is covered with parts of the "industrial bed" I just built so I don't have room to work yet. It should only take a few hours to build. I also have to build it so I can take it apart to fit in my car so I can get it out there.

Andy works in the LFS where I get my fish. :biggrin:
 

Paul B

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Most of my tank build will be me hauling buckets of water out of the ocean. If I get time (I am waiting for varnish to dry now on the "guts" of the bed I built before I can put on a second coat)

I want to make a 12 volt bilge pump with a FIFTY FOOT hose on it along with a wire to connect to my car so I can throw it in the ocean and pump water into buckets in my car. I can back up to here and be just about in the water but it is rough so I will have to walk out on this little pier to collect.
The last time I went here to collect Dorothy Hammil was taking up all the room skating in figure 8s. (Google her)

I will need some time to warm that water up or else I will have to wrap each fish in bubble wrap to stay warm and they frown on that.

I also want to build a large "rock" support the 6' length of the tank to support my entire reef structure off the bottom. I don't see me getting that time and I also would have to soak it in water for a while. If they would let me I would put a rope on it and throw it in my boat slip to cure, but that also ain't gonna happen.

See above picture

I am planning on losing most if not all of my corals. In my new place in the tank space there is no heat, almost no electric, no water, no drain so I have a little work to do before the tank will be functioning semi correctly. But before I do anything with the tank except put water and fish in it I need to do a lot of other work in the place like install lights. i didn't want the builders lights, I built my own along with the bed and some of the furniture so I have to put in all that stuff. I will also be putting in an elevator as my condo is above the workshop and garage and my wife has MS so she doesn't do stairs well. That is why I doubt I will have corals left.



I also have no tank light except for my present water cooled LEDs which are to small for that tank but for a while they will have to do.
 
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Paul B

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Hopefully today it will warm up to 40 degrees and If it does I will build my tank stand. The new tank has the same footprint as my 100 gallon tank. I am building the rails out of redwood because it doesn't warp or rot and the legs, which I got yesterday will be 4X4s. It will be bolted together (and glued) using galvanized bolts and nuts. I need to build it so I can take it semi apart so it fits in my car to get it out there where I will re assemble it in the place that hopefully it will remain. I also plan to bring a few vinyl floor tiles that I will cut in 4" squares to level the thing because I am not there so i don't know if the floor is level. I also want to keep the wooden legs off the concrete floor.
This project if I start it today should only take a few hours as this stand will be inside a wall and you won't see it.
 

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