Need some advice!!!

[fishman1069]

Ok a little background info first. My family and I moved to Florida last spring. I walked right into a plumbing job with my brother in law, which worked out great for a while. About 4 months ago, the business closed its doors over the weekend without telling anyone! They even bounced everbodies last check! Since then, I've been having a really hard time finding work. I've applied to at least 30 different jobs ranging from plumbing jobs to supermarkets!! My biggest problem is I have no car atm and all my resouces are gone.
So I get a call from a job that I emailed off of craigslist. Its pre fabbed steel building job, which I have several years experience in. The kicker is that its a traveling job and I would have to leave my family for a month at a time. Now I know there are pleanty of parents that do this, such as military personnel and traveling salesman, but I have never left my kids or wife for more than a day:sad2:. Im having a real hard time making this decision. Of course my wife dosent want me to take the job but the way I see it, I have no choice. I have to support my family. This is a well paying job and it could mean alot better days down the road.
Obviously I'm not asking anyone to make this decision for me but I would like to know from people with experience traveling for work. How to you cope with leaving your family for long streatches? How am I suppose to tell my wife that this is the best option for our family right now? Oh and did I mention I'd be working in the bahamas?! How the hell do I tell my wife that she has to stay home and take care of 3 young kids (son is 7, daughter is 3 and our newborn daughter is 2 months) by herself while I go to the bahamas for a month to work?!
Sorry for rambling but I suck at writing and I wanted to make sure I mention all the details. Please advize

 

[saltwaterinbrooklyn]

This is one of those moments where you and your wife have to sit down an talk it over and realize what the current day is offering and what the future is holding , when you have to travel for work it's never easy on the family and the tRuth is that you never give up what u have for something that may not pan out but the reality is that at this moment. U have nothing ! It's a choice of food or no food really , and a month will fly right by , I feel your pain as I never leave my wife and kids either , but as the provider sometimes you have to make tuff decisions brotha ! Think about it but don't leave her in the dark.

 

[fishman1069]

Thanx man! I tried talking to her about it last night but she immediatley went on the defense and got pissed. I forgot to mention that since our 2nd daughter was born in Jan. Ive been doing everything with our 2 other kids. I wake up in the morning and walk our son to school, I do all the laundry and dishes and clean the house. I think I made her too comfortable because her only job right now is taking care of the baby. Im not sure if she can handle everything

 

[saltwaterinbrooklyn]

Well sometimes you will have this imbalance of housework but you gotta remind her that your a team and the kids future and Wellfare are what's important , this is very hard as I have put myself In your shoes .

 

[saltwaterinbrooklyn]

So I kind of have a feeling as to what your going through as I also have two kids 11 and 3 , just remember that this decision wouldn't be difficult if you didn't love them!!

 

[greengny]

Issue

Hey. I feel your pain bud. I've had to do something like that in the past and unfortunately it didnt work out well....but that's a story for another day. However, to this day, I know it was the right thing to do.

A few things to consider. It sounds like you've exhausted all other avenues of employment. At the end of the day you need to put a roof over your head and food on the table. If this is the only alternative that you have, then I don't see how you can dismiss it. Of course you need to be sure that's it legit and that after taking into account all other expenses (traveling, food lodging, etc.), that it makes financial sense. A full month away from your family is too long of a time. See if you can get home every other weekend. While you are doing this, keep a steady eye on the local job market to see if anything opens up.

This is a difficult economy and some of us need to "think outside the box" in order to get by. Best of luck to you and your family. John

 

[fishman1069]

@ saltwaterinbrooklyn- Yes I love my kids very much and just thinking about leaving them for that long is killing me
@greengny- Thank you for the advice. I have never been this hard up for work in the 20+ years Ive been working. The economy definitely sux and its even worse here in florida.

 

[thirty6]

It's a tough decision, and really one that you and your wife need to make together. Best of luck with whatever you do, i can't get my wife to listen to me for more than 3 minutes on anything of serious note with snapping at me.

 

[saltwaterinbrooklyn]

Well the economy doesn't seem to be getting better at all especially in Florida , I think she's more afraid of being alone than she is of you chasing work , she may be angry now but she will appreciate our efforts in due time , and a little time away can make the heart grow fonder . Either way I'm here for ya pal , so please keep me posted , best wishes.

 

[albano]

The economy definitely sux and its even worse here in florida.

Unfortunately, many people want to move south, because they hear that the cost of living is cheaper than here in the Northeast...reality is, it's cheaper because the income is much less!

 

[fishman1069]

@saltwaterinbrooklyn- Thanx bro, I appreciate that!!
@thirty6-lol My wife is exactly the same way!
@albano- Definitly true. Thats the reason my wife wanted to move down here. Well that and her twin sister lived down here for the past 10 years and they never saw each other

 

[reefman]

i hope the job offer is legit. i hear lots of scams from craigs list. good luck with your decision.

 

[fishman1069]

Its definitely a legit company. The work dosent end with the bahama job either. The guy does high end steel buildings all over southern Florida and the bahamas

 

[KathyC]

Its definitely a legit company. The work dosent end with the bahama job either. The guy does high end steel buildings all over southern Florida and the bahamas

Can you ask if they might have a job going that is closer to home that you could start with? It might help take some of the pressure off your wife. Two months after giving birth is a tough time..especially with 3 kids.

 

[duke62]

OK lets start off with this first,you are going to be doing NON UNION work probably tax free in a very dangerous field which yeah you have some expierence but they are going to push you hard and the possibilities are there you can get hurt or even worse killed because you really dont have the type of expierence needed to do a job like this.So you need to keep this in mind when making your decision on doing this job which should be done by someone who was in school learning the aspect of building steel buildings.Its not like working on a house where yeah there are dangers but nothing i mean nothing like the dangers of heavy construction especially Ironwork,Also if its not legit meaning they are going to be paying you in cash or half on half off the books if you do get hurt you will not be entitled to anything that a real contractor can offer to help you.

 

[duke62]

Also in the bahams they dont have the same safety as here.so a normal pre-fab building is around 60 to 70 feet high which you will be up there CARRYING steel from one end to the other with no safety harnesses or protection in the heat of the bahamas.And believe me ive done many prefab buildings and we had to do it here before the harnesses and man lifts were in place.ive seen many men who were trained quit pre fab building

 

[fishman1069]

Also in the bahams they dont have the same safety as here.so a normal pre-fab building is around 60 to 70 feet high which you will be up there CARRYING steel from one end to the other with no safety harnesses or protection in the heat of the bahamas.And believe me ive done many prefab buildings and we had to do it here before the harnesses and man lifts were in place.ive seen many men who were trained quit pre fab building

Dude! I've done it for 10 years back in NY. I have a ton of experience and ran crews of 10 guys. I always worked non union without saftey gear. I built Sports Plus in Lake Grove, I did the newer Pindar building out east, several water company buildings that we had to build over the treatment tanks and about 40 other buildings on LI. I definitely have the experience! I dont know if you ever heard of the companies Ive worked for but they are New Dawn Contracting, SteelCo and I did some work for a GC by the name of Steve Ruggerrio.

 

[duke62]

Well dont want to start an arguement so im not going to go into it with union and non union. But if you had 10 years expierence with a union you probably wouldnt be in this situation you are in now. This is one major reason why you always build it union. Alot of benefits working union construction vs non union and this is one major reason i chose to live my life the union way. Even if you decided to go to florida you would have had enough benefits to keep you going and a union card to make it easioer to get a job in any state you wanted to be. I know florida is a right to work state but they still have a decsent ironwork union down there. Dude good luck and i hope everything works out for you and your family. You seem like a real good family man

 

[fishman1069]

Thanks Duke! I tried to go union but never got the chance. Plus I was young and stupid back then and I liked the money I was making at the time

 

[saltwaterinbrooklyn]

Hey fish what if any was the end result? How are things , I hope things are ok .