very upset with this site...

[2slo4me]

In the past 6 months I have had 3-4 friends join this site.

They are going in to the hobby blind and were relying on MR members to help them out.

3 out of the 4 have left the site. thanks to MR members who rather talk $hit then give good advice. I personally have noticed alot of members who do give advice are not giving it because of there own experience but because they heard it thru the grape vine...

not only are alot of members acting rude but being very ignorant...

it bothers the hell out of me when i see/hear storys like this...

you guys need to stop acting like @$$holes and start being nice after all it is the members of this site that even makes it a forum.

now let me guess which mod is gonna lock this up cause they dont like this thread???

or better yet importing corals from a wholesaler over seas is illegal.... :irked:

 

[DEL]

who what where when?? ive always got good advice on here..and i met a bunch of members at the swap and they were kool as hell..some even took the time out of that day to give me advice..im not sure i know whats goin on??

 

[NYreefNoob]

i'll say this, i dont give advise much anymore because 3/4 of the time they don't listen anyways, if people would learn to do some research as well it would benifit them as much if not more, first thing i tell anyone i send to the site is to read tank threads and see what other's are doing with nice tanks. advise is only as good as the person recieving it follows.

 

[MatthewScars]

People have always been helpful that ive seen.

If you want them to learn on their own, tell them to join RC and read their forums for months. Thats what I did, then i came here with a good understanding of how stuff worked.

Blame Deanos!

 

[sakura51707]

i may be going out on a limb but if i would have to take a stab and guess the average age on this site...it would be 25+
i never comment, mock or encourage the juvenile behavior that has been running rampant on many threads but come on, enough is enough...

"you guys need to stop acting like @$$holes and start being nice after all it is the members of this site that even makes it a forum."

yes people CAN be unhelpful, CAN be selfish, CAN be rude, CAN be jerks but so what?! that's life, accept them for who they are and have the maturity and common sense to decide whether or not to deal with them. also, stop relying on sites and others for information. do some research on your own. gosh, it was only a few years ago when google and the internet didn't exist....we actually had to go out and READ!! only a few years ago when information wasn't so accessible...oh my gosh, i believe we all survived and managed to find our answers. have we really become this lazy and co-dependent on each other?!?

"now let me guess which mod is gonna lock this up cause they dont like this thread???"

i happen to agree with 2slo on this one....why are we not allowed an opinion that differs from the general public?! why must we conform?!? why are we not allow to voice our disagreements?!
the mods are so busy trying to babysit everyone on this site, trying to stop us before hurting ourselves like a good soccer mom should be, telling us what we should accept and not like big brother that one crucial role has always been neglected at least since i've joined...."resolving conflict and taking action when one member screws over another"

oh well, just food for thought

 

[nikkibabee]

I can understand how some of you feel that people can be rude or not like what you have to say but to be honest, if a person posts a questions that is fair, and not asked a million times, they are always answered. A lot of people have opinions but that is what you get when you join a FREE OPEN forum. Mods do not close threads just because someone states an opinion, they close a thread when it becomes offensive to someone and the site. If your friends got bad advice, I would look at how they asked it and who answered them. There is always someone else's way on how to do things. I have never had a problem getting help when I needed it from anyone here.

 

[inkblue]

SoRry about that... but it does pay to BE friendLy and HAVE friends... it's called LIFE

here's another tHread you can post to exPress your frustration:

Help Me Thread

good luCk

 

[tosiek]

The people who usually get attitudes from other members are those asking questions without searching our massive forum database of posts for the past 5 years first. Or doing enough research to post a reasonable question that can't be answered through 5 mins of googling and reading. There are days where "What light bulb is best?" is asked 5-10 times a day, and ive seen exactly the same question in 2 different posts, both beeing answered at the same time and both on the front page at the same time. Ive been on the site a long time, and day in, day out the same questions are always asked without searching, or doing any type of research. Sadly, it all comes from new members, who don't know much about the site, and want to post and be active. With the limited knowledge they can only ask already asked questions.

People do tend to give nasty comments, some more than others and cause ALOt of drama, but its human nature coupled with a forum website. Its alot easier to say things behind a TV screen than face to face. Also, there is a BIG difference sometimes in the meaning of posts when read, and how they are intended to sound to the person when typed. So you can read some posts and think what a dik, but the guy meant the complete opposite than what the reader thought he said.

Also there are plenty of first week in the hobby experts that know evertything but still have their tanks in a box in a basement. It can't be helped, it can't be regulated. Just spend time on the site, you will see who knows what they are talking about and who heard it from the grapevine.

I can vouch that 99% of the people here are geniunly good people, who are super helpful. Yes we have our bad apples but the majority of hobbyists here will offer great advice without asking. Its the repeat posts, people not listening, ect that hinder people from actively offering advice. I know alot of old members who don't post anymore. IMO, alot of the time its old information thats already been posted, so why should they have to.

We do need more people to stop posting things that aren't nice, or helpful. But its not going to stop, and beeing a forum based in the NYC area its kind of the nature of people here beeing blunt and honest and sometimes disrespectful. This isn't the west coast or some small town, we don't always play nice.

 

[DCG1286]

Anyone?

 

[tosiek]

"now let me guess which mod is gonna lock this up cause they dont like this thread???"

i happen to agree with 2slo on this one....why are we not allowed an opinion that differs from the general public?! why must we conform?!? why are we not allow to voice our disagreements?!
the mods are so busy trying to babysit everyone on this site, trying to stop us before hurting ourselves like a good soccer mom should be, telling us what we should accept and not like big brother that one crucial role has always been neglected at least since i've joined...."resolving conflict and taking action when one member screws over another"

oh well, just food for thought

There are plenty of posts that go against opinions of the general public that are left here and replied to in a mature manner, its the posts that are specifically made to cause a problem on the site that are closed or ones that have a conflict between members. There is a right and a wrong way to post an opinion, calling everyone on a site @$$holes isn't one of them.

 

[fernandokng]

My advice is, take every advice with a grain of salt. Why? Because somethings that may work for others, but not for you.

Just have an:

open ear > listen > process > then make informed decision

That is different than:

open ear > listen > then make uninformed decision

If what you hear/read doesn't make any sense, do a little more searching on your own. No offense should be taken by the person who gave the advice in the first place. There's no right or wrong. Just right or left.

Though Reefkeeping involves a lot of science, I'm starting to think that it is a lot of art. Good luck!

 

[NYreefNoob]

isn't calling people names being childish as well ? would you want to help someone that just called you a a**hole ?

 

[sakura51707]

There are plenty of posts that go against opinions of the general public that are left here and replied to in a mature manner, its the posts that are specifically made to cause a problem on the site that are closed or ones that have a conflict between members. There is a right and a wrong way to post an opinion, calling everyone on a site @$$holes isn't one of them.

great! thanks for clearing that up and taking what i said so literally. secondly, i never agreed with the name-calling and yes there is a mature and respectful way of responding to each other, an option that many seem to not take.

i believe there is no right or wrong to this argument. everyone's opinions seem to be based on their own personal experiences. it's great that your experiences with other members on this site have been positive but personally i have witnessed the lack of action, consideration on behalf of other members and the mods and was always afraid to criticize because i did not want my membership to be suspended....until now.

 

[nikkibabee]

great! thanks for clearing that up and taking what i said so literally. secondly, i never agreed with the name-calling and yes there is a mature and respectful way of responding to each other, an option that many seem to not take.

i believe there is no right or wrong to this argument. everyone's opinions seem to be based on their own personal experiences. it's great that your experiences with other members on this site have been positive but personally i have witnessed the lack of action, consideration on behalf of other members and the mods and was always afraid to criticize because i did not want my membership to be suspended....until now.

Unfortunately, like Toseik posted early, when you post, there is really no way to tell if you are serious or not, so we do have to take it literally unless there is something that says :jk: or a face or something. Not too sure what mods have said or done to you that you were afraid to speak up, but you are here voluntarily and it is your choice whether you want to stay a member or not, but I have never seen a thread where mods were rude without cause.

 

[Awibrandy]

I'm not sure what to think or say with this one.

I have been with this forum for many years and sure in the begining I didn't get much help, but the site was fairly new when I joined and did not have many members at the time. But I can say that no one had ever been rude to me.

In the past few years this site has grown by leaps and bounds making it what it is today.
Are there jerks on the site? Yes, but that is what happens when you have so many people in one place. It is called life. I know they're here and I ignore them. But guess what there are alot more on other sites......... Heck, I bet you have some in your own family.lol I know I do.
E, if your friends didn't like what they were being told they could have just asked someone else for help, or perhaps even found their answers by doing a little searching.
I my self see the same ? over and over and quite frankly find it tiresome to keep typing the same answer. Take for instance, Help how do I get rid of aiptasias? this particular ? keeps getting asked almost on a daily basis. A little research goes a long way.
As to people here not being helpfull, well I have to DISAGREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have gotten so muchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh help from the people here that if I lived to be a million years I could never repay their kindness.

There are more WONDERFUL people here then there are bad ones. Please don't let a few rotten apples destroy what is good.......

 

[Alex]

My advice is, take every advice with a grain of salt. Why? Because somethings that may work for others, but not for you.

Just have an:

open ear > listen > process > then make informed decision

That is different than:

open ear > listen > then make uninformed decision

If what you hear/read doesn't make any sense, do a little more searching on your own. No offense should be taken by the person who gave the advice in the first place. There's no right or wrong. Just right or left.

Though Reefkeeping involves a lot of science, I'm starting to think that it is a lot of art. Good luck!

Very well put.

Sometimes it is tough to see the same questions asked over and over again, but that doesn't mean that you have to post a negative/rude response. It was a question posted for anyone who would like to post their answer to said question,not a reason to post a negative comment. simply because you have the answer and the questioner does not, is not a reason to give that person attitude. On many occasions I have posted my opinion in addition to a link to another thread with further information in hopes that this will help. Each question has many answers, and each answer has its own questions. Maybe it's time for some to realize that more people join this hobby every day and are just seeking some mentors for help.

 

[2slo4me]

People have always been helpful that ive seen.

If you want them to learn on their own, tell them to join RC and read their forums for months. Thats what I did, then i came here with a good understanding of how stuff worked.

Blame Deanos!

thats exactly what i told them to do.... cause thats what i did when i 1st started.

 

[nikkibabee]

TO be honest, I would really like to see some samples or threads where mods have been rude for no reason. I am pretty sure that if you look at the threads you will see that they are just keeping the peace.

 

[2slo4me]

yea the thread wasnt deleted.... but i WAS INFRACTED.... HAAAAAA

i may be going out on a limb but if i would have to take a stab and guess the average age on this site...it would be 25+
i never comment, mock or encourage the juvenile behavior that has been running rampant on many threads but come on, enough is enough...

"you guys need to stop acting like @$$holes and start being nice after all it is the members of this site that even makes it a forum."

yes people CAN be unhelpful, CAN be selfish, CAN be rude, CAN be jerks but so what?! that's life, accept them for who they are and have the maturity and common sense to decide whether or not to deal with them. also, stop relying on sites and others for information. do some research on your own. gosh, it was only a few years ago when google and the internet didn't exist....we actually had to go out and READ!! only a few years ago when information wasn't so accessible...oh my gosh, i believe we all survived and managed to find our answers. have we really become this lazy and co-dependent on each other?!?

"now let me guess which mod is gonna lock this up cause they dont like this thread???"

i happen to agree with 2slo on this one....why are we not allowed an opinion that differs from the general public?! why must we conform?!? why are we not allow to voice our disagreements?!
the mods are so busy trying to babysit everyone on this site, trying to stop us before hurting ourselves like a good soccer mom should be, telling us what we should accept and not like big brother that one crucial role has always been neglected at least since i've joined...."resolving conflict and taking action when one member screws over another"

oh well, just food for thought

 

[sakura51707]

Unfortunately, like Toseik posted early, when you post, there is really no way to tell if you are serious or not, so we do have to take it literally unless there is something that says :jk: or a face or something. Not too sure what mods have said or done to you that you were afraid to speak up, but you are here voluntarily and it is your choice whether you want to stay a member or not, but I have never seen a thread where mods were rude without cause.

yes it is difficult to interpret whether i am being serious, should be taken literally, or simply joshing but in all honesty, i think we are all being too sensitive....

there was a situation that i spoke to the mods privately, unlike a lot of people i do not wish to "air my dirty laundry" and i was disappointed that no action was taken. the point i was trying to make earlier was that it is hard to judge every circumstance because only the parties involved are truly aware of the going ons of the situation and that everyone's opinions are completely based on their own experiences. not trying to make accusations just stating my feelings after my own encounter with them. and to make my comments more sedated, i have not personally witness a mod be rude without cause.

you are right. it is my choice to be a member, to stay a member or not. hence why i do not sign on as often anymore. but i'm sick in bed today and had nothing else better to do.